A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman tending to the flowers in her garden. He descended a bit more and shouted, ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.’

The woman below replied, ‘You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.’

‘You must be an Accountant,’ said the balloonist.

‘I am,’ replied the woman, ‘How did you know?’

‘Well,’ answered the balloonist, ‘everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is , I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you have delayed my journey.’

The woman below responded, ‘You must be in Management.’

‘I am,’ replied the balloonist, ‘but how did you know?’

‘Well,’ said the woman, ‘you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise of which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow it’s now become my fault!’

{++++}

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, (more…)

John Homer Miller: Great Quotes About Life

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

Vincent Van Gogh: Great Quotes About Life

Your profession is not what brings home your paycheck. Your profession is what you were put on earth to do. With such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.

Leo Buscaglia: Great Quotes about Life

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

I adored Raul Julia. He was such a wonderful actor. I miss him very much.

Richard Shannon Hoon, Lead singer of Blind Melon: born Lafayette, Indiana 26 September 1967; died New Orleans 21 October 1995.

In 1995, Hoon and his longtime girlfriend Lisa Crouse had a daughter they named Nico Blue. After the birth of his daughter, Hoon entered rehab again.

Blind Melon needed to tour to support their album Soup with heavy pressure from the record company, so Hoon negotiated an early release from his drug rehab program with the stipulation that his drug counselor would accompany him on the road.

The counselor, however, was unable to keep Hoon from falling back into his pattern of drug use and was dismissed from the tour less than a month into it. Without the counselor to rein him in, Hoon’s use of drugs escalated tremendously.

After a particularly disastrous performance in Houston, Hoon launched into an all-night cocaine binge. The next day, on October 21, 1995, Blind Melon was scheduled to play a show in New Orleans at Tipitina’s. When one of the band’s roadies went to the tour bus to wake Hoon up for a sound check, he was unable to wake him.

An ambulance was summoned and Hoon was pronounced dead on the scene near Bourbon Street, New Orleans, at the age of 28, one month into Blind Melon’s 1995 tour, mere blocks from where he had recorded Soup. The cause of death was attributed to a cocaine overdose.

Gravesite of Shannon HoonHoon was buried in Dayton, Indiana; his grave is inscribed with the words to the first song he wrote, Change:

I know we can’t all stay here forever
So I want to write my words on the face of today

And they’ll paint it.

Three men were waiting at Heaven’s Gate. St. Peter then says, “OK, guys, enjoy your new life up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe.”

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their ugly women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever to walk the face of the earth. The first two guys say in unison, “WOW! How did you land a babe like that while we got stuck with the ugliest women who ever lived?”

He nudges the babe and says, “Tell ‘em honey. ” She then says to the first two guys, “Yes. It’s true. I told a lie.”